Rob Joseph. And his (ever evolving) quotes:

"St. John's finest are here! Hide your drugs!"

_

"You wanna hear a song about Chicago? You mean that city with the loser Cubs, the loser Sox and the loser Bears? They're not losers? Well, hell, I don't know what else you call them..."

_

" That sounds like Flight 93 about half a second before it hit the ground."

“My ‘drunk radar’ is detecting a bogie…”

“It’s all about me…”

“…you know, that HIPPY LOOKING guy…”

“The bass needs to be just a little bit louder in the mix.”

“I can’t hear the drums! I can’t hear the drums! Oh, now they sound fine…”

“I need xanax! I’M ONLY KIDDING! Well, sort of.”

"Plug in. Play. Now, shut the f@#k up."

"That sounds like dog's ass."

"That guy who stars as Superman? Yeah. I know who he is. Isn't he queer?"

"That guy needs to quit sucking on a crack pipe..."